Taken to the (Dry) Cleaners

I returned from two long back-to-back business trips and I was overwhelmed by the huge-ass load of laundry that I had with me. So I decided to take them to the dry cleaners. I knew the owners as they worked next door and they gave me a substantial discount for the large load.

On the way back to the store I was complimenting myself at having saved myself the trouble. Instead I had a surreal experience, the entire store along with the other ones in the strip mall had all been burnt to the ground. There were 'do not cross' boundaries set up around the entire area.

I was still in a shock staring at this sight when a policeman came along.

Policeman: So which of these stores do you own?
Me: I dont own any of these stores
Policeman: Okay...theres nothing to see here...keep moving
Me: ...b..b...b...but all my clothes were at the dry-cleaners
Policeman: A small smile appears on his face
Me: ....and I was supposed to pick them up today
Policeman: guess what young man...it seems like the owners of the dry cleaners didn't have any insurance either.

With those few words, he laughs out loud and heads off in the other direction endeavouring to bring sunshine into someone else's life (mostly his).


Super Burnt Fluff Cleaners

When realization set in on my loss I set about to make amends.

My first move- utilize the credit card protection facility to recoup the money I had spent on these clothes. I called up the card company and I explained the entire incident in detail. The lady on the other line sounded sympathetic and asked me when and where I had bought my clothes. Luckily, my online credit card statements were available so I carefully provided all the information to her while she made notes and repeated all the information to ensure that she had got it right.

At the end of this nearly 30 minute of information retrieval session, this happened...

The lady at the end of the line: Thank you Mr. Maneesh for continuing to be a valuable credit card customer. Unfortunately our credit card protection policy only covers items that were with the person at the time of the loss.
Me: Although I fail to understand why this special clause is in place, why did you make me dig out all the information if you knew that the fire at the dry cleaners was a clear case of an item not being with the person at the time of the incident?
The lady at the end of the line: Mr Maneesh, that is standard operating procedure for us to get all the information before we can provide the decision.

I am now sure that there are a lot of Sadists out there.

Blaine Memorial

I was in New York and heard that Robert Blaine was there too...so I headed to the Lincoln Memorial to meet him. Only I was joined by 1000 other people who came to watch him break the record, along with television crews covering the event. There with numerous television cameras all around and the feeds were projected on a huge screen which helped me recognize Blaine.


The Crowds


The Watery Globe


The Tribulations

Robert Blaine was unable to break the record for the maximum time spent underwater holding his breath and he had to be fished out of the watery globe so he wouldn't sustain any damage. There were several members of the audience who were very disappointed, one of them shouted "Do it again"!